Ghost Hunt!
by randomshiz
Summary: RK Translated fic from Chinese Pretty boy and a rabbit is going on a mission. Lame humour ensured, and did I mention hypocritical seriousness ensured? Finally finished, I'm happy. Haha. Original link in my profile.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: Pft, this is a bloody FANFICTION. I.e, I am a fan DGM and beansprouts and rabbits and womany-looking guy (gets Mugen shoved into nostril)

**Disclaimer 2**: I don't own the storyline but I own the translation. The original writer is 倒数3年

Please don't hate me. (some parts I cut out her joke and put in mine instead cos it's a Chinky joke and it won't make sense in English)

If, by chance, any of you've already read her/his (sorry I really don't know which gender, but I think it should be 'she') in Chinese, please tell me. That would be cool. -

**Pairing: **LavixKanda, (yes teh RK) but its very light pairing no hardcore stuff, erh, I guess everyone whether you like or not, can read this fic.

**I must say this first chapter I didn't find it THAT good when I translated it, I thought the story got better (and cuter) from chapter 2 cos Kanda and Lavi's finally on the mission, so just take this chapter as a prologue and hope you can finish reading the story. It's short anyway. All the line spaces I waste….**

**Grak/Notes: (This is Australian spelling so don't complain.) **

(Lame) Humour ensured, and did I mention hypocritical seriousness ensured? If you don't die of mouth/eye/nose twitches and vein pops I'll eat my monitor behind your eyes. Now that's something!

**The Black Order**

_A legendary organisation. _

Sometimes called the B.O.

"_Strictly disciplined, with a straight untainted reputation, they are ruthless people who collect 'Innocence' from the commoners all over the world despite all (suffering) consequences caused. They are determined and holy." _

"_All the members of the Order are highly emotionally prepared, they are altruists who work three-hundred and sixty-five days a year (three hundred and sixty-six days for a leap year) without any holiday or break. Even though a certain general had abandoned his base apparently with no reason for X__n__ years, his apprentice was 'invited' back to the Order to pay more respect to the community by servicing them (and working to pay back his debts). Bringing tears to people's eyes. _

_XXX beansprout exorcist commented: What a total altruist for himself! Sob(pun intended you dumb-ass)…"  
_

_name had been changed for privacy issues. _

Above.

Extracted from historical book_《__Legends and Folklores of the Himalayas' Drainage System__》_

Pft, who gives a damn if you don't believe it.

Anyway this story we're going to be talking about is this messed up Order's messed up people's messed up events.

Everything above has absolutely no connection to the story below, therefore it was • less.

Conclusion sorry minions I was just trying to scrape in a few hundred words; please don't throw eggs or tomatoes or bricks at me.

Thank you.

-------------------------------- Tis a DIVIDER even fatter than your mm -----------------------------------

**Ghost Hunt!**

**Part I: Thanks to binge eating I got the mission with Yuu.**

That day the waves were calm in the ocean, the wind was cool and collected, the sky was cloudless for a few million miles, and the little birds were jumping/hopping/bouncing/vaulting around the branches.

Anyway the weather was good.

So after three sleepless days and nights, Komui decided to fake death for now to escape the pile of unfinished files on the table and Reever's bitching. Of course Reever wasn't stupid, he grabbed Komui by his collar and shook him awake violently.

Shake

Awake

Drop (head-nose first on the table and fall asleep)

Shake

Awake

Drop

Shake Awake

Drop

Shake Awake Drop Shake Awake Drop

After a few hundred repeats, Reever started whining that his arm was sore, so he gave the files that he was going to give to Komui to another person in the Chemistry Group. _'Revolution of waking Komui Li the SOB_' had failed so he went for a rematch with the SAD routine,

"I'm not letting you sleep until you finish that three metre long report!!!"

Komui ended up have to wake up in a shaken death and he picked out a random sheet of mission portfolio and had a brief glance. The mission seems not very dangerous. He muttered to Reever about just give it to two random exorcists. After that he went back to signing the reports wearily while Reever repeated the SAD routine.

Time passed like that for Komui everyday…… unexpectedly quick.

-----------------------I'm even fatter than the line that said it's fatter than your mm---------------------

Just at the same time, Lavi and Allen were in the 'Mess Hall', sitting opposite each other, chatting because they stuffed themselves too much and needed to talk for faster bowel movements ie digestion.

"Lavi, so you arrived at the Order before Kanda did?"

"Yea, when I first came, it was quite boring cos there was no one my age." Lavi said in a frustrated tone, supporting his chin with his hand.

"So you were pretty happy when Kanda came huh?"

"Of course! The first time I saw him, I got totally excited so I ran up to him and yelled '_STRIKE!_ _Oneesan, your name pleeeeas!.'_'' (in the gentleman style, one leg on the chair, while the teeth goes 'ping' like Rock Lee)

"Then?"

"He tried to shove Mugen down my throat"

"…… That's what I thought."

Lavi gave a small sniff, "But, I still got his name in the end, cos I was very determined." He grinned.

"And that's the beginning of the _'Mugen on your back'_ life?"

"Yes, it's very sweet indeed."

"……Lavi, you sure you're not a combination of sadism and masochism?" Allen wiped the cold sweat off his temple with a shaky laugh.

Instead, Lavi went on with him into an in-depth conversation about the difference between 'Tough Love'，where beating and verbal abuse are ways of showing love, and SM.

Just as they were conversing on the philosophical issue of 'Tough Love', Krory suddenly came out of nowhere, sticking his big ashen white face in front of them, making Allen spew his mouthful of tea all over Lavi.

"Wha…what's wrong Krory?"

"Woa, Kuro-chan, you're gonna give us each a heart attack!" Lavi wiped the tea off with a napkin, stared nervously at his friend's pale face which today was whiter than ever. Cold sweat was building up on his back.

"Um……ah….ano…" Krory hung his face down low, with an expression that somebody owes him three million pounds.

"Krory, what's wrong?" Allen said, sipping his black tea again, this time swallowing it properly.

…. …

….. …

…………

"Are you…scared of ghosts?"

After that was said, silence dawned on the trio.

It actually wasn't the fact that you are, or not scared of ghosts, it was the way that Krory asked that was scarier than witnessing a real one.

'_I'm one hell more scared of you…' _ "Of course… not!" Lavi laughed nervously, not like there was another answer.

"THAT'S GREAT! Please swap place with me for this mission."

"Huh, ok?" Lavi felt hair start to stick up on the back of his neck. Ah one, ah two, "What mission is't?"

Kuro-chan pressed the three of their heads down, like a group huddle, his voice spooked,

"Ghost hunt"

……

……….

………….

The silence was longer than the last one.

………………

………………….

……………………….

"It's not I'm scared of ghosts…" Krory finally said. "But I'm glad you're willing to swap, thank you Lavi." Business has been done, he prepared to exeunt.

"WAIT!" but Lavi had faster reflex, and grabbed Krory's hand. "Then, what exactly are you afraid of that you can't go on this mission yourself?"

Krory sighed, quack, let go of the hand first, "I'm scared of going on the mission with Kanda … that's all."

In two seconds, from all the directions NEWS including all the NE, NW, SE, SW, NNW, NWS (?), does that even make sense? Anyway, all the 1/16 th compass points, finders and exorcists rushed over to their table, raging on about how they felt utterly the same, while tears spewed out from their eyes the Komui -fountain-style.

They went on about how they'd rather go on the mission themselves than with Kanda because he was a human blizzard, every time they look at his face they felt like the temperature dropped at least sixty-nine degrees Celsius and every time if they dare disagreeing with him for something, Mugen will be shoved up, down, into their asshole/throat/belly button/ear/nostril, etc.

Lavi will never get it.

Think about it, right at the beginning when they just met, he was the only one that went on about how he wanted to be paired with Kanda for every mission.

'_I don't get it, it's a once in a life time chance to go on a mission with someone as pretty as Yuu-chan, why doesn't anyone like the opportunity…?' _

So off Lavi went, preparing for a lovely mission with his beloved Yuu-chan.

-----I am fatter than the divider that said it was fatter than the divider fatter than your mm------------

Good morning minions, it was the day of the mission; Kanda was waiting with impatience annoyance at the gate for his partner to arrive. Like always.

"Yo! Yuuuuu----!!!"

There was no mistake, that annoying, draggy voice and the only person who dares to call him-!$#, Kanda death glared at the mob of inflammable-hair.

"Why is it you (_bastard_) again?!"

Kanda gritted his teeth, the reason he used 'again' was such incidence happened not just today but on many other occasions. Last night he was assigned with someone else then the next morning he ends up with a rabbit.

"Shijou told me to look after yuuuuu." It's a pain that the rabbit wouldn't shut up and stop grinning.

"Don't worry about me, take care of yourself."

Note: _'Don't worry about me, take care of yourself'_ is a visually romantic sentence, it gives you those Titanic life and death scenes where he goes 'Take care of yourself after I'm dead, n don't cry over my dead body please.'

Too bad when Kanda says it with gritted teeth it meant:

"Make trouble for me n I'll shove Mugen down your throat and twist it around when it's inside."

Lavi used his usual tactic of ignoring him, and kept on blabbering.

"Oi, I doubt you know the objective of this mission, so don't bother coming!"

"Of course I know, it's a ghost hunt sa"

"……you're not scared?"

"What are you scared?"

The rhetorical question shut Kanda up; he turned his face to one side grudgingly with a loud 'tch' and said no more.

Lavi saw that and decided not to pester Kanda for another five minutes.

With amusement he started whistling "Little Little Twinkle Star" or in other words you can all it:

"THE ALPHABET SONG", just for the sake of pissing Kanda off in an indirect way.

TBC… ?------------------------------------------I'm the last and fattest divider if you haven't got sick of how much a divider can talk wateva oi oi don't ignore me---------------------------------------------

**Grak/Notes:**

Flame me if you want, I don't really mind if you say this is the crappiest DGM fic you've ever read, come bitch to me, nah. COME TO MEEEEE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

bb. 1900hr 12/01/08


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Pft, this is a FANFICTION. I.e, I am a fan of DGM and beansprouts and rabbits and womany-looking guy (gets Mugen shoved into asshole)

**Disclaimer 2**: I don't own the storyline but I own the translation. The original writer is 倒数3年

Please don't hate me. (some parts I cut out her joke and put in mine instead cos it's a Chinky joke and it won't make sense in English)

**Pairing: **LavixKanda, (yes teh RK) but its light pairing no hardcore stuff, fluff only if you consider it fluff.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's vague in my memory, but I can still recall it.

That day, I woke up really late, it was past breakfast time and the dining hall hasn't got any food leftover.

So I was squatting outside the Mess Hall, frustrated and red-faced, staring at the ground with sad, teary eyes.

Then someone approached me, it was Yuu.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a bored tone.

So I told him my heroic tale of 'breakfastlessness' with some exaggeration.

The main point I reinforced was: I'm starving.

He paused a moment and said, "Wait here."

So I waited, and soon, he came back with something in his hand.

I asked him what he was holding. He said it was vegetable salad.

---Though all I saw was a piece of celery with a strip of mayonnaise down the middle.

I hammered the thought of _'he cares for me, he made me breakfast' _into my head, and took the celery stick with gratefulness. I squeezed my eyes shut and chomped into the celery with my front teeth.

The celery was REALLY fresh, with a strong scent of soil fertilizer.

'_Yuu was in too much of a hurry knowing I'm hungry, he didn't have the time to wash it.' _I convinced myself with tears streaming down my face.

---I wonder if I got anything in the bathroom cupboard that stops diarrhea… -----------

Yuu glanced at me. Looking at his face, he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.

"…Is it good?" he finally said.

I smiled brightly with tears of gratefulness (and pain).

"Ah, Yuu-chan you're the best!"

It was quick and unexpected.

But I saw it.

The flash of red that tinted his face.

It was really, really pretty.

————————————————------------------分割线———————————————————

**Ghost Hunt!**

**Part II: Now you mention it, sumo sounds 'fun'.**

The mode of transportation this time for the mission was going to be by boat. All together there were three passengers: 1 x Kanda, 1 x rabbit, and 1 x finder.

The boat wasn't big, but it was enough for three people. After they finished preparing and finally got into the boat and start sailing, it was already near midnight.

Though nothing much had been done, those hours felt unexpectedly tiring.

Thanks to Lavi, who was still as energetic as ever, giving off annoying vibes of refreshing-ness.

Kanda on the other hand, was gradually nodding off. Only the finder was still writing in his journal about this mission, and other who knows what information.

Such dedication deserves a clap.

…

…….

"Yuu, let's play the 'fall down' game."

Lavi was bored with amusing himself so he changed his target.

"What's that?" not agreeing to Lavi too quickly, because Kanda saw the mischievous glint in his eyes.

"It's just we push each other and see who falls first."

"… You mean, sumo wrestling?" Kanda remembered something he had seen when he was very young back in his mother country.

"What's that? Pushing over is pushing over. …… Got nothing to do with elephants."

**Note: in Chinese, 'sumo wresting' sounds the same as 'elephant wrestling'.**

"No, Sumo is a sport.

"Huh? Elephants pushing each other is a sport?" Lavi gasped, followed by a string of snickers.

"……I'm not playing." Kanda refused after seeing Lavi's expression.

"Why not!?"

"For that, you need people who are very…voluptuous and wear very little… I don't feel like catching a cold."

"C'mon, it should be alright. It's quite warm here in the cabin, beside we're both males so there's nothing to be shy about!"

Just as Lavi was talking/attempting distraction, he started to undo Kanda's first button.

_Don't look down on my ability, Lavi-kono-yaro! _

"ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HOLY MAMAMIYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Kanda slammed Mugen as hard as he could on Lavi's wrist. After that, it turned into a wherever Kanda could reach Lavi-bashing with his katana.

"Tch, this is the last time." Kanda glared after Lavi begged him to stop. Meaning the next time I'll chop your wrist off and stab you wherever I feel like.

Kanda didn't always know what Lavi was thinking or planning on next, but he could tell whether Lavi's action was going to cause him any harm (whether it was physical or psychological. Usually the latter.)

Perhaps this is the 'sixth sense' Kanda had developed after spending so many years with Lavi.

_But, developing this kind of sixth sense…is kinda sad. _Kanda cringed inwardly.

Kanda ignored Lavi's exaggerated groans of pain and found a comfy spot in the corner to rest. He held Mugen tightly next to his chest.

One is for Akuma invasion, two is for Lavi invasion. (Of his personal space at night)

That idiot had tried to 'attack' him before when he was asleep, and not only once did Lavi attempted that.

'_Must keep vigilant at all times.' _

The journey was quite short (but Kanda felt it was long), they arrived at their destination on the third day.

It was a small, peaceful town next to the sea, the people of the town were very hospitable so their mood began to loosen up a bit.

When you arrived at somewhere foreign, the first thing is to become familiar with the place. Realising this, Kanda found himself to be dragged around by Lavi, the idiot bought a mountain of different local treats and who knows what from the streets.

"Yuu-chan, you want some." Lavi said between mouthfuls of the sticky blue thing he was chewing on.

_I'm going to be sick…_

"I don't want any." Kanda replied with a glare before remembering something.

"And don't call me that, bastard!" he snapped.

"Hm… geez" Lavi shrugged and continued to look around for more 'interesting' things.

"Holy shit!! Yuu-chan, I never thought I'd see fried cockroaches…"

"Damn it! I told you not to call me that!!!"

In the end, Lavi ate a large variety of things from the streets…

---the consequence being,

"Ahhh, Yuu My stomach hurts." Lavi whined. They were at their hotel, it was late at night.

"Hn, suits you right."

"You're so cold buddy. Ah! Man, if only the old jiijii's here…." For once Lavi missed his strict master, but now it was too late.

"Kanda-dono! Lavi-dono! The doctor has arrived!" the finder came back in delight, with a small girl about eleven to twelve years old. Kanda scrutinized her with suspicion.

"Isn't there another doctor in this town?"

"I'm very sorry. The only doctors here are from my family. It used to be my grandfather who checks on the patients, but…" The girl didn't say anymore, it seemed a bit uncomfortable for her.

"Fine, as long as you cure him." Kanda said.

"Yes."

The girl immediately sat next to Lavi's bed and started checking his pulse and breathing and tongue colour (?) carefully, after that, she took out a bunch of strange looking plants which Kanda had never seen before, out of her sack. She grounded the plants and mixed the powder with hot water.

"Please, drink this."

Lavi whimpered, "It smells…a bit…" he stared at the bowl of dark green liquid, hesitated (or to say he didn't want to drink it at all.)

"Don't worry, I made it a bit more concentrated than usual, but it shouldn't kill you." The girl said with an innocent that meant completely no harm.

"WHAT!??! …I…I'm not drinking this."

Tears welled up in the girl's eyes after hearing Lavi's harsh disapproval of her…very hard work.

Kanda frowned at the situation and eyed Lavi with a glare.

**[Below is all eye to eye conversation between them two, using eyebrows… **

[Lavi you idiot, hurry up and drink this so this kid can leave.

[What? You want me to die?

[You don't die that easily.

[Well you drink this for me then.

[Why should I? I'm not the one that's sick.

[Damn, no way in hell am I gonna swallow that, never!

[Fine, you choose: Swallow this or swallow Mugen.

[……………….I'd rather swallow Mugen.

[…….How about this, if you drink this thing I'll stay at your room tonight.

[Really? REALLY!!!

[…….

Lavi took the silence as an automatic yes and grabbed the bowl of medicine, and chucked it down in one go with a shakey smile.

"Yuu…you… pro…mised……" Lavi choked out before falling back onto his pillow with a thud.

"Woa! Is…is he alright?" The girl saw the situation didn't look right, and rushed over.

"He's just asleep." Kanda shrugged.

"But, his eyes are still open."

"… He sleeps with his eyes open."

"But it's twitching…"

Kanda looked at Lavi.

It was true Lavi was giving off spasms every two seconds.

"It's alright, it's just spasms, should be gone after a while."

"…there's foam coming out of his mouth…"

"He drools during sleep."

"Is that so……well then, I'll take leave now. Please take care."

"…Doctor."

"Yes?"

"Any coffin makers around here?"

"…………"

———————------------------------The next morning————————---------------------------------------------

"Yuu-chan"

"Ne, Yuu You listening to me?"

"Huh?"

"I said, it was really weird. Last night I dreamt of my old colleagues who had passed away during war. And they were yelling at me, 'Go back, this place is not for you!'"

"Ah…really…"

"Don't you find it strange?"

"……..it's just a dream."

"It felt quite real to me though…" and as usual, Lavi started to blab energetically with his grin,

Always smiling, always forgiving, or maybe forgetting.

Kanda was in too much self-guilt to actually look at Lavi, so he turned around to polish Mugen.

_At least that idiot's ok._ Kanda sighed with relief.

The finder watched quietly, taking out his《Mission Log》 and started to do his daily job of recording.

_O Month X Day_

_The second day at our destination. No progress with the mission. _

…_ijou…_

**TBC.**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------- Allen…WAKAAAAAAAAAA -----------------------------------

**Author's note:** Ah…this chapter is totally off the main mission, but completely kuso. The next chapter will be back to the mission and the ghosts, hopefully the last chapter as well.

**Grak/Notes: **

People, thank you for the reviews, and I mentioned that my monitor is made of chocolate so I shall eat it now behind your eyes.

Munch munch, yummo

And thank you to the kind person who added this to their fav. Story. You must be really weird, just like me. Hahahaha. I love you.

Anyway, **ijou** that's all above. (It's Japanese for 以上, usually people write that to conclude rather than 'the end.' )

The line Kanda thought of:

**Don't look down on my ability-** it meant the ability of knowing that Lavi was going to grope him. In Japanese it's meant to be, 'Namen-nayo, Rabi kono yarou!' But I guess it's hard to translate 'Namen-nayo' into English cos it just sounds really weird.

I guess it's easy to translate from Jap to Chn than Jap to English, cos sometimes there's just no direct translation for some words, laughs

**Lavi-kono-yarou** – I think most people should know this means Lavi you (this) bastard.

**Kuso** shit literally, but just means crack or pointlessness in this context.

It's quite scary that Lavi and Kanda can say so much just by looking at each other. --! They must be telepathic.

There's actually 2 more chapters to go but I guess I'll combine it.

BB

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Ps. Sum this chapter up in less than 5 words.

(Sample answer: When's this gonna bloody end?)

Reader: oi, oi '_When's_' is 2 words you bloody cheated, bastard!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Pft, this is a bloody FANFICTION. I.e, I am a fan of DGM and beansprouts and rabbits and womany-looking guy (gets Mugen shoved into nostril)

**Disclaimer 2**: I don't own the storyline but I own the translation. The original writer is 倒数3年

Please don't hate me. (some parts I cut out her joke and put in mine instead cos it's a Chinky joke and it won't make sense in English)

**Pairing: **LavixKanda, (teh RK) (I just realised the love between the two is actually stronger than I thought in this fic.)

**Grak/Notes: **Hoho, it's near the end. Solz, I lied, there is ONE MORE chapter before this ends.

It's so fortunate my monitor is made of chocolate; I've eaten the whole thing including the wrapping.

Oi oi you people are so evil, 90 percent of your reviews were about 'e_at your monitor now! Show me a photo!!! Put it on YouTube!!!_" etc.

Haha, too bad Youtube wouldn't let me upload it cos its called 'physical abuse',

…

…

Ok I lied again.

I can't believe you're still not annoyed to death by the coolness of this fic.

Conclusion You're all weirdoes. HAHAHAHAHA. (Is it cool to be weird these days? Is it? IS IT? Answer me bastard!!!) ← the translator is psycho.

…

…

…

I was lying on my bed, my head was dizzy, and the room was spinning around me.

I raised my hand to my forehead.

Shit…it was burning.

Darn it! Who the hell gets a fever during the middle of summer? When it was boiling hot and uncomfortable.

I didn't feel like moving at all so I closed my eyes again, trying to catch another nap.

Just as I was praying for some silence, or to say the absence of a certain person…

"Yuu You alright?"

The fuzzy voice echoed in my head, I opened my eyes in distaste.

See now I was looking at something I didn't particularly feel like seeing at that time.

The blur of colour threw an icy cold cloth on my forehead. My head was instantly cleared by the coldness, and it felt so much better.

"Yuu, I haven't seen you getting out of your room for a whole day… You should at least eat something… Tada, I brought you spaghetti!!!"

I didn't know what the idiot was thinking but giving bloody hot spaghetti for someone who was having a bloody temperature…?

By the end of my contemplation, I decided to kick him out. Unfortunately, my body was too tired to move.

Lavi laughed, "Geez, Yuu-chan, stop glaring at me. I was just joking."

He smiled before getting out a very big apple and start peeling the skin off with a knife.

_I really didn't know where he got the apple and the knife from…oi, that's not the point.,, _

"I don't want it." I muttered darkly, it was true I had no appetite at all.

"C'mon. I'll cut them into really cute shapes!" he cooed, like a mother who's trying to get her child to eat vegetables at dinner.

He ignored my objections kept peeling the apple skin. I was just about to tell him it wasn't about whether the shape is cute or not, I really didn't feel like eating.

Then he passed a piece of rabbit-shaped apple to my mouth.

He grinned before telling me, "Yuu-chan, look look! It's really tasty Mr Apple Bunny. C'mon, try it, or else Mr Apple Bunny will be really sad."

_I think that meant himself. _I bit into it with a scowl, giving in.

He didn't lie.

It was really tasty.

And since that time, I realised something.

Deep down, I liked Lavi.

---

---

…… ……

————————切腹切腹切腹切腹切腹切腹切腹切腹切腹切腹切腹切腹———————

**Ghost Hunt!**

**Part III: It's usually the trivial things you don't forget. **

After realising they had already spent two days in the peaceful small town, Lavi suddenly remembered the fact that they actually came here for a mission, not procrastinating.

'_We really should get going.' _Lavi smiled nervously as words of 'IRRITATION' radiated off the exorcist next to him.

_Ok we need to get going. _Lavi winced.

No more time-wasting, Kanda and Lavi asked around the town a bit, trying to find out how to get to the haunted mansion. They heard from the townspeople that near the town's south-east fringe there was a forest, and in the depth of this forest, there was the haunted mansion.

The mansion was said to be haunted day and night, weird noises can be heard a mile away, etc, etc. The two set on their journey fast and arrived at their destination before sunset.

Even though it was only sunset, but that meant…after sunset it was going to get dark…

"Oi, I think we should go in tomorrow morning."

Kanda said just as Lavi was going to open the door of the mansion. The mansion was a typical, old eighteen century style with vines and ivies draping all over it, the gate was half open so the two had stepped inside without any problem. The weed was overgrown, and there were many cracks and mould on the mansion's surface.

Looked like it had been abandoned for at least a century.

"Huh? Yuu, what did you say?"

"……Never mind." Kanda unconsciously bit his bottom lip and swallowed back the words he was going to say.

Lavi blinked then shrugged. He pressed on the brass door handle that was carved with delicate spiral patterns on it, the huge marble door clicked opened with a loud creak.

Looking once more into each other's eyes, they entered the mansion. The sudden darkness took their irises a few moments to adjust.

Hands reaching for their weapons, they were on guard, and alert for any attacks.

…

……

It was usually quiet, compared to what the townspeople said about all the noises.

Even the sound of each other's breathing seemed too loud.

Every creak their footsteps make…

And every 'pata pata' sound of dust falling off the old wallpaper seemed full of threat.

After a while, the vision of the room had become clearer in their eyes.

It was the perfect atmosphere.

Damn it was the perfect atmosphere for ghost haunts.

"Yuu… it seems…the mood seems eerie in here…"

"……"

"Yuu?"

"Shu…Shut up. I'm ok."

"……Yuu-chan, your face is really pale."

"Bastard, I told you not to call me that!!!"

The particles in the air quivered as Kanda shouted.

It seemed that something that was asleep had been awakened. But somehow it all went back to silence the next second.

However, this time the silence was different, it was hidden with something bigger…

Looming…waiting for the right moment to pounce…

…

…

Suddenly, translucent white shapes appeared from all directions.

Some was crying and screaming while some was running around everywhere.

"Mummy…where are you? I'm so scared, so scared. Me so scared lah." A middle-aged male ghost sobbed in the corner with an Indian accent.

"Oi you! Tell me, do I look good with a middle parting?!" another ghost with only a single hair on top of his head grabbed a younger looking ghost and yelled loudly into his face.

"A…afro I thin-!" the young ghost got punched in the face before he could sob out an answer.

"I can fly! I'm flying!!!" a ghost that had the body shape of the Millennium Earl flew past Lavi while waving his arm up and down in a stupid manner.

"Damn it I'M NOT THE UKE DO I LOOK LIKE AN UKE JUST COZ I'M LOLI-SHOTA TYPE SO I told you I'm NOT THE UKE!" a short, lanky male ghost wailed near the ceiling.

"HOLD UP! THIS IS HOLD UP!!! RAISE YOUR HANDS NOW!" a ghost wearing police uniform screamed while pointing his rifle in every direction. "AND RAISE YOUR FEET TOO!"

…………………………

Kanda froze at the ghastly, supernatural vision that granted his eyes.

_This is got to be a dream. _

_Got to be a bad dream. _

_Damn, Lavi had passed his diarrhea virus to me and now it's entered my head and affecting my sanity. _

……

_LAVI COME AND WAKE ME UP ALREADY YOU BASTARD! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I ACTUALLY NEED YOU?!!!!_

And Lavi was in a battle with an old woman ghost who was wearing clothes and make-up that looked fifty years too young for her. "My darrrrrrling you finally came back for our wedding..!!!!"

"Granny, oi…oi…I'm not… let go, I'M NOT YOUR GRAMPS SO LET GO!!!…" Lavi who was in a tag-war with the old woman cried in frustration.

"……" Kanda slowly came back to his sense, he turned around to face Lavi with an unusual rigid shadow that casted his face. Kanda was twitching,

and twitching….

"LAVI!" in a split second, Kanda grabbed Lavi's arm and the two sprinted in lightening speed while the old woman was still clinging onto Lavi's leg.

Because the two was in too much shock, they didn't even look at where they were running, they just ran, and ran, like headless flies.

"Oi, Yuu, calm down!" Lavi yelled while they were sprinting. "They don't seem to mean any harm to us!"

"I'm very calm!"

"Then stop running like a mad cow!"

"I'm not running!"

Lavi sighed (but he felt like banging his head repeatedly on a wall), knowing Kanda would never admit to anything. He suddenly stopped in his tract and yanked Kanda close to his chest.

"Yuu, calm down." He whispered into Kanda's ear.

Lavi's unusual husky and deep tone brought Kanda back to his senses.

Kanda panted loudly, since it was after five minutes of desperate running, and slowly regained his clear trace of thought of what just happened. Realising he acted out of character and acted so unprofessionally in a mission, his face heated up, whether it was due to heat or embarrassment. He immediately pushed Lavi away with a glare.

In the end, the two sat next to the wall of the room they were in right now (it seemed to be another lobby on the ground level), observing the ghosts. More ghosts wandered past them, talking to each other or whining to themselves, ignoring the two exorcists.

What the most random was, a ghost with intestine hanging half out of his stomach came to up to Lavi to ask for direction and Kanda slashed it with Mugen before Lavi could say anything along the lines of 'Where ya going? Organ donation? You can't sell much for bowels these days, they get stale after a while and they contains your shit too.'

Lavi looked around for a bit, trying to sense any signal for 'Innocence'. Then he noticed something.

"Hey, Yuu." Lavi pointed at the staircase that goes up to the second floor, "Look, there ain't any ghosts flying past that area."

"Let's go up there then." Kanda answered, standing up.

"My dar…rrr…ling….let's go get married…."

"Gran, listen, I'm REALLY SERIOUSLY HONESTLY not your gramps."

No more nonsense, the two nodded at each other and raced through the main lobby straight for the stairs. They ran past a variety of ghosts: one that was asking for debts to be paid back, one that was screaming bloody murder of the boyfriend who cheated on her, one that was trying to market them Virility -longerlasting-stamina for men products, the most unbelievable was the one that was advertising he does fake passports forges for a good price…

Kanda stepped onto the old creaky stairs and Lavi yanked the old woman off his leg before following suit.

They were just about to reach the second floor, however the sudden silence from the first floor made them stop in their tracks.

"Hey…Yuu-chan…it's sooo si…silent again…It's getting…on my nerves…" Lavi stammered.

"I..idiot…I know…"

The two swallowed before turning around to look.

All the ghost were crowded at the base of the stairs, staring at them with fear in their eyes.

Kanda reached for Mugen, _Maybe they're finally going to attack us…_"… What do you want…?"

The ghosts looked timidly at the two, and didn't answer.

After a few moments, they finally whispered in a deadpanned tone…

"Don't go up! … The second floor…

…

…

It's haunted…"

…..

**TBC **

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Grak/Notes: 1 more chapter to go… Hehehe. **

And that's when Lavi and Kanda did the anime-fall, with extra big sweat-drops coming off their head.

OTZ OTZ OTZ 不停的吐糟，笑。

"**BLOODY HELL! YOU PEOPLE ARE GHOSTS!!!" **

"**HAVEN'T YOU HAUNTED US ENOUGH ALREADY?!" **

…

Lololol. I remember I laughed so much when I read this in Chinese. In the original version, it was literally 'Don't go into the second floor, there are/is a ghosts/ghost.' Such satire.

Oh! Did I tell you? The** original title **for this was actually **"I see ghosts!!! I see ghosts!!!" **in Chinese of course.

But then I changed it to Ghost Hunt, if you people would like me to change it back then I will, just tell me, cos I'm still thinking if it was a good idea that I changed the title. Does it sound better if it was in the original way?

K…

Hope you liked this chapter, and don't forget to leave me a comment.

HAHAHAHAHA

27/01/08 Oh! Yesterday was Australia day, I totally forgot!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: Pft, this is a bloody FANFICTION. I.e, I am a fan DGM and beansprouts and rabbits and womany-looking guy (gets Mugen shoved into nostril)

**Disclaimer 2**: I don't own the storyline but I own the translation. The original writer is 倒数3年, 倒数3年-sama 谢谢你的授权，希望你喜欢这个翻译。有的地方可能不同，不过我没有加任何和故事不相关的东西，也没有改任何剧情。

Please don't hate me. (Some parts I cut out her joke and put in mine instead cos it's a Chinky joke and it won't make sense in English)

If, by chance, any of you've already read her/his (sorry I really don't know which gender, but I think it should be 'she') in Chinese, please tell me. That would be cool. -

For people who want to read the Chinese version, its in post. and its in the 拉神吧 somewhere. Yeah, go see it for yourself cos I read it along time ago.

**Pairing: **LavixKanda, (yes teh RK) but its very light pairing no hardcore stuff

I remember it was Lenalee's birthday last month, and the Order decided to put on a range of shows to celebrate.

Komui was eagerly in charge of the programs, and it resulted in a stage play.

The main characters were decided to be Kanda and Lavi, and the name of the play 'The Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.'

I could still remember when Kanda, who had a retarded looking red hood on his head, knocked the granny's fake paper door with irritation, Lavi jumped straight out of the window yelling 'I'm gonna eat you, Yuu-chan!!!'

Kanda pulled out Mugen from his waist instinctively, and the story of 'Little Red Riding Hood' became the 'Revenge for my name.'

People were in daze below the stage, and above the stage there was nothing but chaos.

In the end, I never had to appear.

Because this blessed fairytale had find its best ending without the hunter.

----By Allen Walker.

————----------------------------—----------------------------分割线————————------------------ 

**Ghost Hunt!**

**Part IV: For those who don't believe in fairytales, I rather do because I can have an excuse to wait for my happy ending.**

Kanda and Lavi stopped in their tracks on the stairs.

The ghosts in the room slowly faded one by one, in an instance the room was back to silence and normality like those ghosts never appeared.

"Hey, they told us it's hunted upstairs… but aren't they ghosts themselves?" Lavi asked with an exasperate expression.

"Whatever it is, the problem seems to be on the second floor." Kanda decided to stay calm this time. Dragging Lavi, they walked with heavy steps into the darkness of the unknown.

Upstairs it was even darker than the ground level, the smell of decaying wood rushed into their nostrils. The dust was heavy and the ground dented in unexpected places, the feeling was definitely 'you can trust that this place might collapse any second'.

Their heartbeats were louder, breathing shallower, tension filled up the air.

It felt like a pair of hungry eyes was watching them somewhere in the dark.

Quickening their pace, they entered what seemed like a living room or a lobby; the arrangements looked like the one on the first floor except it was messier and dustier.

"Rrrrringggggg!!!"

The loud shrill of telephone ringing broke the silence.

Lavi and Kanda turned around in alarm, only to see the Finder standing there with a timid expression. It was understandable because they were both raising their weapons dangerously.

"How come you're here?" Kanda grumbled, pulling Mugen back to its sheath.

"I am very sorry to disturb your investigation. There were a few calls from the Order; therefore I came up to find you. " The finder apologized with a deep bow.

"It's alright. I'll take it." Lavi said, lifting the receiver to his ear. "Hello… yeah, it's me…Sure, just a sec."

"Yuu, here you go, it's for you." Kanda took the receiver with growing impatience.

"Yes. This is Kanda……,

I _knew_ it was you! What do you want this time Komui-yarou?

'Haha, don't speak like that Kanda-kun, it's just there are some news I need to inform you.' Komui said flippantly on the other side.

"I get a feeling it's nothing good…"

"Let me say this first, don't get angry at me after hearing this ok?" Komui said.

…

…

"Damn it, if you don't get on with it _now_ I'll get _very_ furious at you!"

"Of couse, sorry about that." Komui laughed nervously on the other side, making Kanda wanting to stab him through the phone. "I wanted to tell you two about the mission, there's a mistake."

"A mistake?"

"Yes. I just found out there was actually no possible trace of innocence at your destination and the tale about the haunted mansion is also just a local folklore to scare little children." He said, "I'm really sorry, making you go there for nothing."

"…I don't get you... You mean…the mansion DOESN'T EXIST?" Kanda started to yell without even realising.

"Yes yes. You two must be having a hard time trying to find it, I apologize."

"But…we are in the mansion… right now…"

"…………"

"…………"

"Ahahaha! Look at the weather, isn't it just so fine and perfect? Lenalee! Get me a cup of coffee please! And oh, Kanda, don't forget to bring us some souvenirs when you come back! Have a nice day and good bye!"

"KOMUI YOU BASTARD!!! DON'T AVOID THE SITUATION!!!"

'Beep, beep, beep beep' the other side had already hung up.

…

…

…

"Yuu, what's wrong?"

"………Look, we got good news and bad news, which one do you want to hear first?"

"Gee, it's so rare for you to be so wordy, um…good news then."

"Our mission is cancelled."

"Really?! That's great! Let's have some time off before going back! Say the truth, I HATE this mission!" Lavi stretched his arms contently. "What about the bad news?"

"…The problem is we can't get back."

"Why not?"

"Because… this mansion itself doesn't exist."

"Yuu-chan that was way lame…"

"…You know I don't make jokes. Look the stairs going down to the ground level is gone."

"SHIT THEY ARE! … Fine, if you're serious… That means…this place is… we're both hallucinating!!!???"

"Correct."

"What!!! Yuu, how can you be so calm when we're in a situation like this?!!"

"I'm just getting numb."

….

….

Just as the two exorcists were getting regretful of why did they even set foot into this house, this forest, or why did they even agree to go on the mission in the first place, and landed them in this 4th dimension, trapped and helpless… the finder had just made a NEW discovery.

"Exorcist-sama! Look here please; there is stairs that goes to the next floor!"

"That's impossible, this house is only two storied."

Lavi rushed over to the finder for a better look.

It was impossible, yet it was there, there were stairs that went up another floor.

"There's no other route. Let's go." Kanda sighed, walking with heavy, frustrated steps.

The two set foot into the darkness again.

…………………

The third floor was unexpectedly clean; there were no furniture, so the whole room seemed very spacious.

But there was only one thing hanging off the wall, a mirror.

"Maybe this mirror caused the entire problem."

"Be careful."

The two moved closer to the mirror with vigilant steps, and looked at the mirror in its every detail.

The mirror seemed the same as normal mirrors; it was plain and quite normal looking. The only thing that was strange about this mirror was, it didn't reflect anything.

"Yuu, look at it, it's so weird."

"Duh."

"But it doesn't seem to be harmful." Lavi reached out his index finger to touch the surface of the mirror, it was extremely smooth.

"Don't touch it! What if it's poisonous?" Kanda slapped Lavi's hand away.

"Jesus, you're acting like a mommy." Lavi said, and started to joke with the mirror. "Mirror mirror on the wall…who's the most unfriendly person in the Order?" Nope, he couldn't be bothered rhyming.

The mirror which didn't reflect anything the second before, Kanda's image started to appear.

"My god! Yuu! Look look!" Lavi grabbed Kanda's arm excitedly.

"I know I know, let go!"

"…Yuu, do you think that this mirror is the mirror in that story…um…'the rotten apple and the dead princess and the seven midgets and the prince with corpse fetish'?

"…You mean Snow White."

"All the same! But the point is that, this mirror…"

"Fine, I admit this mirror is magical and all, we should take it back to the Order for investigation. Wait now you remind me, we need to find a way to go back first, damn it!!!"

Lavi ignored Kanda's ranting, and started asking even more questions.

"Mirror mirror, who's the prettiest in the Order?"

Kanda's image stayed in the mirror.

"Mirror mirror, who's got the most vicious tongue in the order?"

And it was still Kanda's image. Lavi started to snicker loudly.

"Lavi if you don't start asking something sensible I'm going to cut your head off!"

"Ahaha, Yuu, you really have no sense of humour and keep that knife away please it really hurts when you get cut by it…" Lavi said, pushing away Mugen that was on his neck, turning around to face the mirror.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, when are we going to marry each other?"

Just as something was starting to appear…

"STOP STOP!!! Don't show me the answer, or else I'll slice you in half!!!" Kanda shouted furiously.

Holding Mugen close to the surface of the mirror, it seemed to be scared as well so the image disappeared obediently.

"Yuu-chan! Why did you do that for? I rarely ask sensible questions!" Lavi pouted and started growing mushrooms on the ground.

"Damn, you call that sensible?! And what did you call me just then? You bastard you got amnesia or something?" Kanda ranted again, "Shove, since you're useless I'll ask!" he yelled.

"Our future… our future…" Lavi sobbed, Kanda though maybe he went too far and sighed, pulling Lavi up by the wrist.

"Baka usagi…" he muttered quietly. "We'll never have a future if we don't get out…" Staring at Lavi's eyes, he had always been drawn to their colour, he liked it.

Before giving Lavi the chance to react, and also blocking out weird thoughts, Kanda snapped his gaze away and glared at the mirror. With the most threatening tone he could manage, "Tell me how to get out of this damn place, NOW!"

Light bursted out of the mirror, blinding them, and the whole world had gone white and spinning…

…

But it's ok, just hold onto each other's hand tighter.

…

It will be ok.

…

…

…

…

When they finally opened their eyes, they were already lying in front of the Order's gate. Suddenly the feeling of tiredness increased by tenfold after the spinning and the whole havoc they went through.

"Yuu…we're back. And alive too." Lavi smiled at Kanda who was lying a foot away.

"Ah." Kanda replied, reaching out an arm and grabbed Lavi's sleeve before closing his eyes again.

"Oi, Yuu-chan, remember what you said back at the mansion? ……Well, now we got out, does that mean we…" Lavi paused as he heard a light snore.

"Jesus, how could you be so cruel to me! Are you really asleep? Or are you trying to avoid the question." Lavi stared at Kanda's face.

"But, I guess you'll never answer the question anyway, awake or not." Lavi smiled to himself, "Cos I bet'cha don't even know the answer yourself."

Closing his eyes, maybe he should take a nap too.

Someone can come and find them, for now they were too tired to move.

————------------------—-------------------------------———分割线——————————----------------------------------------------------

"Aiyayaya, thank you for the effort this time, you must be really tired." Komui said flippantly to the two exhausted exorcists. Totally forgetting about who got them so exhausted in the first place for nothing.

"No shit, Komui bastard…"

"You better tell the Search Team to go back to that place; we didn't manage to bring the Finder back." Lavi leaned against Kanda, draping his arm over the other's shoulder, which Kanda was too tired to mind.

"Finder? I never gave you a finder to go on the mission with." Komui said with surprise. "Lavi, don't you remember? You were the one who told me you didn't want anyone to disturb your happy time alone with Kanda that's why I didn't order a finder to assist you guys." Komui explained, "And it was quite a surprise you guys rang me even though you don't even have a finder, how did you manage to get a phone?"

"…Wait, you rang us first."

"Huh? No, Kanda rang me first."

"……No I didn't……"

"………"

"………"

"……………Then…who…who was the person that accompanied us the whole way?" Lavi turned to look at Kanda with bewildered eyes.

"I don't know n I don't want to know I'm gonna eat soba so both of you shut up and leave me alone, wait I'm going the wrong way AND don't talk to me I repeat ………." Kanda muttered out another string of incoherent words while covering his ears and stomped away to the Mess Hall for his dear sanity.

Leaving Lavi and Komui staring at each other in the office with equal numbness.

……

……

……

-----We saw a ghost?

——见鬼了？

The answer had been given a long time ago.

**The End. **

**Grak/Notes: **

Finally finished!!!

I'm so happy. And I feel accomplished too.

Hope you like the story and the adventure the two boys went on. Sorry, they didn't get to confess or anything, but I guess I can't make stuff up or it won't be a translation anymore. Meh, you feel the love. XD K, I admit I added some extra bits. Hope you can't tell. :P

Btw, thank you all who reviewed! And some of you, thank you for adding this to your favourites, or me to your fav author list, I feel honoured. :D Love y'all.

Reviews?

Bb! 2256 02/02/08 AUS EASTERN TIME.


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